confessions ♥
Thursday, 29 October 2009
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secrets <3 well, not anymore I guess...
Sorry I haven't written in a long time.I've recently gotten really sick. I don't know if you's have heard of H1N1... Most commonly known as Swine flu. Yeah, well, I have it. It's the most horrible sickness in the world. I was at work Sunday night and almost fainted. I caught myself before I hit the ground. I panicked. I left work, went straight to the hospital. They said I most likely have H1N1. I show all the signs. They weren't going to test me though, because they'd have to send tests to Toronto, and by the time they get the results back i'd be feeling better anyways. I'm basically bed written for like, 7 days. So, I can't do anything until Sunday. And then Sunday I work again. I got a doctors note for the whole week I'm off work. I always seem to get the shit end of the stick! My symptoms are: Almost passed out, vommiting, Dizzyness, Loss of Appetite, Chills, Fever, Really bad cough, the shakes, Body aches, my abdomen hurts a lot.... That's basically it. Today my abdomen hurts alot and I have a cold. But no signs of anything else. I'm still bed written until November 1st so that I don't spread it around to anyone and so that I'm not contagious anymore.Thankfully I have an amazingly sweet boyfriend. :) For the past two days he's been coming over and dropping off movies and bringing me hot chocolate. He even bought me a cosmo magazine. He said it was "extremely embarassing". lol. And even gave me a nice back massage last night. We started dating October 5th. So far, so good. He always knows how to make me smile.
Lol, he's goofy. :)Anyways, I think I may go lay down for a bit. Try to catch some sleep!So, I got tagged in this facebook note... And it said to write a bunch of things that you think people don't know about you. So, I did it out of boredom.
1. I'm not brave enough to take risks that would probably make me truly happy.
2. I think everyone is perfect in their own way. The more you get to know a person, the more attractive they become to you. Because everything beautiful you see on the inside of them, suddenly you're able to see on the outside of them too.
3. I don't get mad or angry. I just become quiet and over-look things easily. Which usually allows people to walk all over me. ;l although, I never forget things. I keep a mental scoreboard of everything you do that fucks me over. That way, I know how much to trust you or not.
4. Theres only 5 people I trust with my life. Mom, Dad, Katie, Marissa, Boyfriend.
5. I'm insecure and a bit shy, but I'm worth it. I promise.
6. Sometimes I think people are reading my mind, so I think to myself, "STOP READING MY MIND!". And then I think i'm crazy for saying that in my head.
7. If I let you into my life, you're irreplaceable. even if we stop talking, your mark is still left on my heart. I usually forgive, once or twice, or sometimes more because I can't find it in me to let most people go.
8. I'm afraid to grow up because Im still not completely sure of what I want to do for the rest of my life.
9. Sometimes I look at people, and try to determine what kind of lifestyle they have, if they have kids, and just try to picture what their life is like or determine what they're thinking.
10. Music doesn't really inspire me as much as it used too.
11. I'm scared that I'm going to be alone for the rest of my life.
12. I'm not scared of dying at all, I'm scared of no one being sad.
13. I'm a bad luck magnet. I'm not even over-reacting. Ask anyone. EX: I slipped on a bar of soap today in the shower. WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?
14. I have a big trucker's mouth. I throw the f-bomb around like it's going out of style at work. yeah, I know... It's not "lady-like"... But i'm working on it :)
15. I eat everything. I don't know what's wrong with me, if I see, I want, I eat.
16. I want to become a police officer or a mechanic. Judging solely by my appearance though, people do not think I'm able to accomplish that. But, I'll prove them wrong. kthx.
17. I'm scared of electricity plugs. I know, weird right? But when I was little I plugged something in and it exploded in front of my face. Thankfully, I didn't get electricuted.
18. I actually have a 'to do' list for the rest of my life.
19. I manipulate words to get what I want.
20. My favorite colours are yellow and purple.
21. I make really awkward facial expressions that probably only Marissa McCracken has ever seen.
22. I don't/barely cry. Some people call it being "heartless". I call it, "not stressing about the little stupid things." Although, those stupid sad movies get to me.
23. I'm extremely observant. I notice everything about a person. From a freckle, to a weird face they make. I can tell when something is bothering someone by the expression on their face. I notice every little habit people have.
24. I'm a bad shower rapper. Not singer. Rapper.
25. I'm always cold. Everyone thinks it's crazy how I can sit on the couch with a million blankets and sweaters on and still be freezing.Any one have any similarities to me? :) Leave some input guys! I love it! And absolutely love responding to it!
Monday, 28 September 2009
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FML.
I think I'm completely unlucky.
I got into a car accident Friday. I got T-boned, in a fucking parking lot, WTF. I wrote off my car. I had to use all my fucking college fund money to buy a new car so that I could get back and forth to work. I've been having terrible headaches for the past 3 days. I went to the hospital, they said I have a concussion and to just take lots of tylenol. FML.
WHY DO I ALWAYS GET THE SHIT END OF THE STICK NO MATTER WHAT I DO!?
I mean... How come terrible things always attract themselves to me? I'm a good person. I always donate to those charities and everything whenever someone asks me if I'd like to donate. I'm a great friend. I'm a caring person. How come? How come no matter what I do, everything always seems to go against me?!
I can't believe I just started saving up for college, and this happens.... What are the odds? ... It's like I'm destined to stay at my shithole job for the rest of my fucking life.
My parents were pissed about the accident. They couldn't believe it. They were pretty upset about it. But then they were like, "Cest la vie. At least you're okay." ... They can't believe I'm on my third car in like, one month. :/
It pisses me off, because the sunbird was such an awesome car! I mean, I had no problems with it really! And I got t-boned by a van, and it's unfixable. When I got hit, I crawled out of the car 'dukes of hazzard' style because my door wouldn't open because I got hit on the drivers side. FML.
I was in such shock. I was crying uncontrollably... I was so upset that I actually fell to the ground sitting up against my car... And buried my head in my hands. The things that were going through my head were:
- My parents are going to kill me.
- If I don't get a new car by Monday, I'm fucked out of a good paying job.
- Holy shit, I just got hit.
- Oh my god, is everyone in the other car okay?
- My parents are going to kill me.yeah. so, anyways. I went out car shopping yesterday.... Left at 8am. I finally found a car at 6pm. I bought a Toyota Camry. It drives really nice, and looks really nice. I'll post a picture up of it ASAP.
ANYWHO.
I've been hanging out with Mladen a lot again lately. I don't know if it's a good thing, or a bad thing right now. :/ I just know that I have a lot of fun whenever I'm with him. And I do like him too...
By the way, I tagged everyone because I wanted to let everyone know IM STILL ALIVE. I haven't xanga'd lately because I've had like, no time to. But I promise I'll start writing more and updating more!
PS; I REALLY MISS MY BESTFRIEND MARISSA. :(
She's always the best to talk to about everything, but she's in college in london now. :( FML, AGAIN.
Well, I better get going. I have work tommorrow. UGH, I'm going to get questioned by everyone about 'what happened'. And the worst part is, the lady who I hit, I work with her son. He's my partner. FML FML FML.
Tuesday, 15 September 2009
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I almost fainted.
Adrian messaged me last night. I messaged back. He wanted, "another chance". I told him there was no way I would give him another chance... I mean, I trusted him when we were dating and he fucked that over, by banging some dirtballs. Fuck that. I deserve better. I'm not desperate. I'm not really wanting a relationship right now. I'm just dating until I find someone who'll go over-the-top for me. Oh, and Adrian also wants to "get together" some weekend.... yeah... That would go over well. :/
I miss my Marissa. :(
Tuesday, 01 September 2009
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Realizations.
I've come to realize, as of this friday.... I'll be all alone.
I mean, I'll have no one else to talk to whenever I need to. Marissa is the only person I ever go to whenever I need someone to talk to. The only person I trust 1000000% with everything. The person who I can count on to give my head a shake whenever I need it. I know I'll still get to see her tons on weekends and such, but I'll have to adjust to the fact that I won't be able to see her whenever I want to in the blink of an eye. I won't be able to just go to her door right after work and go on a walk to clear my head and get everything off my mind with her. It's extremely depressing actually...
I have wicked trust issues.... I only trust her, and usually the person I'm dating. But right now? I only have her. I only tell things to her. Seeing as everyone I ever date, fucks me over anyways.
But I'm really looking forward to next september now. Hopefully Mar & I will get an apartment together for college and such.
Update on whats been happening in life:
I've been asked on numerous dates in the past week. I accepted a lot of them. I've been just seeing people since Adrian and I broke up. I'm in no rush to get into a relationship again. I'm done searching... I'm waiting for someone to come to me. Someone who'll go over-the-top in order to get my attention. Then i'll know they truley want to be with me. I'm done trying to search for someone, that only ends up in heartbreak. I've made a promise to myself... I'm not going to try to make anything work, that I know won't work out in the end. It's like, I give myself false hope all the time...
Marissa once said to me, "Sometimes, it's just too difficult to care, because if you care more than you know you should, it hurts worse when you're let down. Sometimes it's just easier to not give a damn. Then when something does work out, it's a nice surprise and nothing has been ruined. And thats when we smile the most." Maybe that's just what I should do. I just don't know!
I'm kindof regretting not going to college this year... Because now everyone is going to college and I'm stuck here. In the middle of no where. When everyone gets to move out to the cities for college. That's my dream. I want to move to the city. I hate the country. I hate how when I go for a walk, all I see is field. I hate how it's so iscolated. I hate how my closest neighbor is sososo far away. I hate how my closest friend is two crossroads down. I hate the country. I miss living in the city. I miss how busy it was. I love going to the mall and having it be so crowded. I love being surrounded by people. I love seeing all the different types of people around. Rather then where IU live-- where everyone looks like clones... I guess I'm just jealous of everyone. Everyone gets to get out and broaden their horizons, and I chose to stay another year... ughh .
Nothing seems to be going right lately. I don't know what it is... I've just felt extremely aggitated... There's no specific reasons... I guess everyone has these kindof times once in a while... But oh well, Things will get better.... It might rain now, but it can't rain forever.... right?
I went to the movies last night. Marissa, Mark, Josh, Tony and Me. Tonys a really nice guy. We drove the hours drive to Kitchener, and then picked up Mark and Marissa. Suprisingly, we didn't run out of anything to talk about. It was just constant conversation the whole entire way down. Which was really nice. He's a really funny guy. We never really hung out until just recently. He's not going to college this year either, so at least I know someone who'll be sticking around as well! And we'll have to hangout lots more.
I saw Josh for the first time in a long while. I hate how he lives with his mom now. We used to be the best of friends... And now he lives an hour away from me. He was one of those people I could talk to about everything as well... And then he moved away and he always seems to be busy now. ;/ I definately hope it's noot like that when Marissa moves to London! That would be terrible.
Anyways, I think i've went on enough for the time being! Thanks for reading! Leave any input you like! Negative or Positive, I like hearing everything my readers have to say! :)
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
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Currently
Crisis
By Alexisonfire
see relatedthings.
I was at work today, and whenever I work, I seem to over analyze anything and everything. It's terrible. So, I was thinking to myself about everything I like and dislike about my life. I thought i'd write everything down so I can improve things, or just look at it to remind me of things I can change.
The things I like in my life are:
My family
They support me through everything, even if they don't think I'm making the right decisions. They support all of my choices. My parents are pretty easy going and whenever I'm feeling down they always come up with a way to make me smile.
mommy and daddy.My friends
When Adrian and I broke up, all my friends had my back. They were all there to talk to when I needed someone to cry to or to rant to. Especially Marissa. She's my bestest friend ever. I don't know what I'm going to do without her this year because she's going to college. Obviously I'm going to visit her constantly and call, and text, etc. But she's the only person in the whole entire world that I trust with absolutely everything. I honestly trust her with my life. She always knows how to cheer me up when I'm feeling down.
marissa and meGrades
This past year, my last year of highschool, I actually managed to get a decent average. It was a 77. It's alright. So, therefore I'll be able to get into college hopefully!My ability to move on fast
I'm not sure if this is a pro or a con... But i've been fucked over so much in my life by a million different people, that i'm used to it. So, i've accepted the facts and learned to deal with the cards i've been dealt.My car
I just bought a car! A Pontiac Sunbird. It's my new baby! It's like, teal, it's a beauty. I named it butch. It goes from 0km to 120km in five seconds!Things I dislike in my life are:
Love
It seems like no matter how much I want it and how much I try.... I just can't seem to come across the right boy. Am I suppose to wait? Am I suppose to look for him? I just don't know... And it seems i'm second choice for everyone. :/ What's wrong with me?!Regrets
Tons of them. I mean, I know I always say "No regrets baby."... But in reality? Tons of regrets. I haven't really regretted things until recently though... I regret buying the mercury topaz (my old car), I regret be-friending some people, I regret dating Adrian, But I guess in the end I learn from my mistakes right? So, I guess this could be a good thing?My job
Making yarn... drives me... FUCKING NUTS. Nothing makes me more pissed off than my job.My skin
I have a medical condition called Psoriasis. I don't have it badly. It's not noticeable at all. Some people have it terribly, but I manged to get off with just a couple dots. It still bothers me though. It makes me feel like I stand out over everyone else and not in a good way. And when I do get the odd dot, it itches like crazy. :/So, there you's have it! My list so far of things I like and dislike about my life. I'll add more to it, seeing as I'm sure i'll have more time on my hands to think during work within the next few days.
Updates on what's been happening in my life:
- Adrian has been texting my bestfriend Marissa. Apparently he's going into the Army and wants to talk to me one last time, just in case "something happens". Bullshit. He only has one kidney. The Army won't accept him. Not unless it's to send him over enemy's lines and detinate bombs. I know I shouldn't be so bitter towards him, but he's making me look like the bad guy. He's making me look like I'm the heartless bitch. He says stuff like, "Fuck you, I'm going to go bang some sluts. I was cheating on you anyways." and then like, an hour later, he'd be like, "I love you, I miss you so much." He advertised over his facebook that I was, "mentally unstable". Who sounds mentally unstable? Anyways, the point is, I told Marissa I wasn't going to talk to him and I didn't talk to him. I haven't talked to him in over two weeks. lol.
- Sunday I had friends over to chill and watch some movies. It was fun.
lol at josh's eyes, and my stupid face. haha. This was on Sunday.
aww, sheila and me on sunday.- I'm thinking of switching to night shift at work. So, that'd mean i'd work 11pm-7am. Instead of working 3pm-11pm.
- I bought a new car today. It's so awesome. Pontiac Sunbird.
It looks identical to this, but it's like a bluey green.
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
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I'm over it.
Yep, that's right xanga. I'm over him. I was thinking today during work... Why am I stressing over him? All he did was make me miserable three quarters of the time.. I should be a hell of a lot happier. I vow starting tommorrow, his name will never come up in my head, my conversations, anything. It'll be as if he's erased from my mind.
As for today? I worked 3-11pm. Then I went out for ice caps with Em-Lad and watched movies with him until 5am. :) I kindof missed hanging out with that little fucker. He's funny as hell and kept me smiling the whole night.
Tommorrow? I'm hanging out with Marissa at 11am. Then I'm going to work 3-11pm... Then i'm not too sure what I'm doing! I need to find something exciting ... It sucks living in Listowel though, nothing to do.
This weekend i'm going to my friends party. :) It should be exciting. Mar & Me are going to pick up a large bottle of tequila and down er'! It should be great!
That's it for now! I'll be sure to create a post about the blink182 concert very soon! I'm just waiting on pictures!
Monday, 10 August 2009
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Currently
Enema Of The State
By blink-182
see relatedI can't believe I've wasted three months of my life, on someone who wasn't worth two seconds of my t
So, I completely flipped out at Adrian because he made up a lame excuse about not being able to come see me for our three months. He said his parents van was broken, which was not true. I know. Because I was just in it last weekend, and it was perfectly fine. He just doesn't want to drive the half an hour to see me. He's never really drove to see me at all, except once. I've always had to drive. Because he was always too cheap to put gas in his parents car to come see me. Fucking asshole. I was always the little bitch. I put more effort into the relationship then he could have ever put into it. Anyways, this is the conversation that went down last night:
Adrian: I wasn't lying, but I do hate the driving... Some times this just feels like a lot of work.
Me: And you don't think it's worth it?
Adrian: It's just different, and alot of work...
Me: You didn't answer my question...
Adrian: Idk, some days it is... some days not as much.
Me: Ok, you know what? I don't need someone who doesn't need me. You're just one of those people destined to be alone forever...
Me: No one can love you, because you don't let anyone fet close enough. It's not my fault, it's yours. I mean, I've tried everything and I just can't love someone who's just infatuated by me.You're arrogant, and the only person you care about and ever will care about is yourself. Go fuck yourself. I'm breaking up with you. I can't take your bullshit.
Adrian: Youre wrong, but ok :(
Me: I am not wrong. You don't care about anyone but yourself. You wouldn't know a good thing ig it bit you in the fucking ass.
Me: You're always, "I'm better than everyone else, blah, blah, blah". Well, guess what sweety? Just because you're cocky, doesn't mean you're actually better than other people.
Adrian: Julie, I love you more then myself, or anyone... whcih is exactly what scares me... hurting you :(
Adrian: I love you Julie, I just didn't want to hurt you.
Adrian: Wait, :( lets talk about it.
Me: And honestly, I'm not trying to say this to be a bitch or anything.... But you need a real attitude adjustment because I was stupid for putting up your stupid bullshit. If you don't smarten up, you're going to be alone forever. I now realize what everyone was saying to me about how I can do better... Because they're right... I don't deserve the shit you pull. I deserve a good boyfriend. One who isn't afraid to tear down the walls and let someone in once in a while. You say that everyone always lets you down... And that's why you don't get attached.... But other people don't let you down. You let other people down... You let yourself down... The end. So, I'm deleting you off facebook, msn, I don't want anything to do with you. Because like I said before, I deserve better, and I don't need anyone who doesn't need me. I don't give second chances. Bye. Ps, I don't want any texts, emails, calls or anything. Pretend I don't even exist. I'm dead to you. Bye.
Adrian: I don't want to break up. :(
Adrian: I do need you. I really do... :( I don't know what to do without you. :(
Me: Well, you should have thought of that before. You said it's too much work. So, go to college. Meet girls. Get laid. Easy. The end. I'm dead.
Adrian: I don't want that though. I only want you. It's alot of work, what I was getting at, is it was worth it. :( I never even got the chance. :(
Adrian: Babe please, we can fix this... I love you and you're right... please, I miss you already.
Me: Well, I put up with you making me feel like I wasn't good enough for three fucking months. When, I know i'm then good enough. I'm an amazing person. I have no enemies, I'm sweet. I'm honest. I actually have the ability to love someone unconditionally...But when I'm not getting that in return... Theres no point to it. There was no point to us... I'm not going to be your little bitch, when I know I deserve so, so, so, much better. I don't want to be someones trophy girlfriend. Just there to be shown off. I want someone who loves me for me. Which obviously, you did not. I don't think you're actually capeable of loving someone. You're too obsessed with yourself. I mean, you always say we can fix things... But you never do.... You just tell me what I want to hear... And I'm sick of broken promises.
Adrian: Julie... I'm in love with you... More then anything. :( It kills me I could never prove it.
Me: You can't prove to someone how much you love them. You show them on an everyday basis how much you love them. What do you think i've been doing for the past few months?
Adrian: You are all I've got, and all I want. It's hard for me, you have no idea what it's like. :( Imagine a person like me, selfish, proud, arrogant, Then he meets a girl, falls in love with her, and can't be with her every second of everyday. :(
Adrian: It breaks my heart. :(
Adrian: I don't know how to though! I love you, 3 small words, but when said to you, it has all the meaning in the world,
Me: I don't need you. I don't want you. You're never going to grow up and be a man. You're always going to be little Adrian who doesn't know right from wrong. Who always cares about himself more than others, Who will never truly feel the real concept of love... And I feel sorry for you. Now, Like I said, no facebook messages, msns, emails, calls, or texts after this... I don't want anything to do with you...
Me: You've fucked me over one too many times and I'm better off with no contact with you. Just so you know, I DID really love you... But when you constantly have your heart ripped from your chest repeatedly... And stompped on a million times... It's incapable to feel the way you should for that person... So, I guess it's like, my final goodbye. I just want you to pretend that I don't even exist. Pretend I died. And just let the memories, the laughs, and everything else die along with the thought of me. It'll be as if I never even existed to you... Bye.
Adrian: I love you. Bye for now. But i'm telling you now, you're going to need to do alot to keep me from you. :( I love you.
Adrian: Julie, I love you and you will never believe that. :( Thats whats unfair about this... The fact, I really do love you and theres nothing I can do about it.
Adrian: If thats what you really want. :( I love you. I always will. And if you ever need ANYTHING, please promise you'll tell me? I'll always be here for you.
B-B-B-BULLSHIT. I know it when I see it.
Today, this morning.... I got these messages from one of my friends Ashley. Her boyfriend Paul was talking to Adrian and Ashley forwarded the texts that they sent to each other. I just got Adrians texts to Paul ... Here they are:
Adrian: Might go up to oshawa. idk, broke up with julie, gotta clear my mind
Adrian: yeah, i guess. idk it wont be easy
Adrian: hahaha ive already met some girls :p
Adrian: meh, who knows , now that im single might as well
Adrian: i met them when i went to tour school
Adrian: Gorgeous and nice as well haha
Adrian: Stephanie
Adrian: yeah, shes got a nice little east euro accent... very sexy voice haha
Paul: Have you fucked her?
Adrian: hahaha Can't wait to find out
Adrian: Each girl hotter then the last one... a sister too
Adrian: Cheap beers on thursdays too hahaha
So, right after Ashley sent me those... Adrian texts me.
Adrian: Are you going to call me? :(
FUCK YOU ADRIAN.
I texted him back with:
Me: Fuck you. I'm better off without you. I can do a million times better. You're not a good person. You're not very cute. You're a fucking dickhead. Why don't you just go fuck stephanie and her sexy euro accent you fucking prick. I hate you. I've already forgotten you.
Adrian: :(
Adrian: I guess.
Me: Good luck with that. I hope she sees your true colours. I hope every girl does. I hope you're alone forever.
Adrian: Thats cool with me, All the freedom in the world.
Me: Like I said before, you're incapable of loving anyone. Thats really sad... It's funny how I got those voicemails last night and you sound all sad... Maybe you should go to school for acting. You fucking idiot. Go fuck yourself. Get a life. Bye.
Adrian: I am sad. nothing a fuck load of booze and sluts won't cure tho... peace.
Me: You're a fucking dirt. I hope you get std's.
Adrian: Well, I probably will. but at least I'll be getting laid, did you even WATCH the ugly truth???? Turns out he was right.
Me: You won't be getting laid if you have nasty herpes. Thats disgusting.
Adrian: Well, I'll be sure not to get herpes then :P lmao.
Me: you're fucked. I actually hope you get some chick pregnant. That would make my life. :) bye.
Adrian: Me too, 99 percent of girls are ok with abortion so I really don't give a shit :P anyways, ttyl.
And then he ends it with a:
Adrian: Btw, I really love you. Just so you know.
FUCK YOU. ASSHOLE.
He does not know what real love is. He just tells girls what they want to hear. I can't believe I wasted three months of my life on that prick.
Thats three months, I will never get back.
FUCK YOU IF YOURE READING THIS. I HOPE YOU GET STDS. I HOPE SOME GIRL GETS PREGNANT AND DECIDES TO KEEP THE BABY. I HOPE YOUR LIFE TURNS OUT MISERABLE.
Just because you deserve it.
I've never wished that upon anyone, ever. I think he's the only person, that I actually hate.
I've deleted him off facebook, msn, my cellphone, everything. I've cut off all contact with him. I want him to think of me as dead to him.
Saturday, 08 August 2009
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EXCITED! (:
So, guess where i'm heading xanga? Right now, i'm on my way to the blink182 concert in toronto! well, first we're going shopping at like, yorkville mall! (: I need a new digital camera, so thats good! i'll get one there! i'll post photos of our exciting adventure! ps; any comments on my new layout? hit or miss? (: feedback would be greatly appreciated!
Thursday, 06 August 2009
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Currently
blink-182 - Greatest Hits
see relatedHOLY SHIT.
SO I GET TO SEE BLINK 182 THIS SATURDAY IN TORONTO! :)
I'm super excited!
I basically cried when they broke up. :| no lie.Anyways. I guess I should update you on things that happened since I last wrote. Well, Adrian and I are obviously still dating, it's almost been three months :) . Marissa's birthday passed. (For those of you who are new readers, Marissa is my bestfriend). For Mar's birthday I took her out for supper, and bought her some cute heels!
I recently saw one of my really good friends on monday! He's on curfew and stuff now... So, we can't really hang out as much. He was busted by S.W.A.T for having drugs. Well, for being in a house that there was drugs in or something. I don't know. I'm not into that. I didn't even know he was around drugs :| . Anyways. It was really good seeing him. We used to be such good friends and used to hangout like, every single day. Then he moved in with his mom an hour away and we never see each other anymore. He's like a brother to me. Always has my back!
I went to beat rocks the block a few weekends ago. I saw Stereos, Marianna's Trench, Finger Eleven, The New Cities, and Shiloh. It was a pretty sick concert!
I went to Adrian's this past weekend for the whole entire weekend. Adrian could've sworn he heard his parents say, "They would have attractive children." LOL. That's fucking creepy. I like his parents. They're really nice, and easy to talk to. His mom is always such a sweetheart :) . He also took me on a ACTUAL date this weekend. We went to the movies and saw "The Ugly Truth". It was a really good movie! It was really nice. I don't think he realizes how much I actually appreciate when we actually go out on little dates and do things together.
Work is driving me NUTS. My machines always go all weird and retarded... And I can never get anything going the way I want it to. It's terrible. I end up cursing and swearing and freaking out at the machines. Stupid Yarn factory. :/ So, my supervisor called me into her office on friday.... and told me:
"Everyone says you were basically made for this job."
AS IF.
I'm not spending the rest of my life working in a yarn factory. lol. I want to be a police officer. I want to do something exciting with my life. I'm working there so I can save up money to go to college for police foundations.
These past few days, I've been really on edge. Like, I feel like at any moment, I could just snap.... No warning signs.... Just, break down... Theres just been little things that have been building up, and building up... And the worst part is: working at my job.... I have a lot of time to think to myself... For 8 hours basically... and it gets me thinking about it even more... And I just don't know what to do I guess... I can't really talk to my bestfriend, because she works when i'm not working, and I work when she's not working, And I haven't really talked to Adrian in the past two days... I don't know why... But yeah... :/ It's terrible.
It's weird... Because I never feel like that. Usually i'm a pretty cheery person. It just happens like, once in a while.. I'll stop boring you's with my stuff now!
Do you's have any exciting plans for this weekend? :)
And I have a new photo of me up! :
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
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Currently
With Roots Above And Branches Below
By The Devil Wears Prada
see relateddedicated to you. :)
This is for all the people who have been reading my posts everyday, and who have been giving me amazing feedback. Thank you all so much for being so interested in what I have to say. I don't know what I'd do without some people to listen to what I have to say! Thanks so much! You guys are the best :)
Lmao, excuse me not looking so great. I just got off a 8hour shift at work. I was so ready to hang myself with some wool. LOL. I work at a yarn factory. Seriously. :| Anyways. yeah, so, I'm pretty greasy from that. I'm thinking I should take a nice long bath soon. :)
julianne_elise
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- Name: Julianne
- Gender: Female
- Member Since: 4/6/2009
get a hold of me:
find old entries here:
About the girl...
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My name is Julianne. You can call me Jewels. I'm in grade 12 and 17 years old, but still enjoy watching childish cartoons. I try to be a good person. I'm probably one of the best people you'll ever meet. If I let you into my life, you're irreplaceable. even if we stop talking, your mark is still left on my heart. I usually forgive, once or twice, or sometimes more. because I can't find it in me to let most people go. I think everyone is perfect in their own way. The more you get to know a person, the more attractive they become to you. Because everything beautiful you see on the inside of them, suddenly you're able to see on the outside of them too. I manipulate words to get what I want. I make really awkward facial expressions. I really enjoy late night phone calls and good morning texts. Yes, I'm single. No, I don't want to date you. I can be hard to handle at times, but I can make you smile like no other if you let me. ♥
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listen to me baby;
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save me, because I still believe theres something in me worth saving. ♥
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Take a look at my newest post! SEX PART 2! :D Leave some feedback and that would be great!
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wondering where my boyfriend is tonight. :( ... g'night xanga. :)
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